Teen Friendships: How to Deal With Drama Before Big Events

Big events like homecoming, prom, birthdays, or group trips are supposed to be fun, memorable moments. But let’s be real—sometimes the excitement gets overshadowed by drama among friends. Whether it’s disagreements about outfits, who’s riding with who, or feeling left out of group plans, teen friendships can get complicated quickly. The good news? There are ways to handle the drama before it ruins the night.

1. Step Back and Breathe

When tension builds, emotions can run high. Before firing off a text or snapping back, take a step back. Give yourself time to calm down so you don’t say something you’ll regret. A short break can give you a clearer perspective. 

Maybe send a text with some similar verbage, “Let’s take some time to sit back and think about this before we talk to each other. We do not want to say things to one another that we cannot take back.” This way everyone knows that the friendship is valued and you want to make amends. 

2. Communicate Honestly (But Kindly)

A lot of drama comes from misunderstandings. Instead of assuming the worst, talk it out. Use “I feel” statements instead of “You always.” For example:

• Helpful: “I feel left out when I don’t know the plans.”

• Not helpful: “You never include me.”
  Clear communication can solve problems before they explode.

This tip will help you in almost every situation in life, relationships, work, family drama. All the things! 

3. Avoid the Group Text Spiral

Group chats can sometimes make things worse—people misread tone, or side conversations pop up. If there’s an issue, it’s often better to talk one-on-one, either in person or over a quick call.

If you have an issue with one person in the group, talk to them privately - maybe have someone else moderate, but take them aside and communicate openly! 

4. Remember the Bigger Picture

Ask yourself: Will this matter tomorrow? Next week? In six months? Most of the time, the answer is no. Don’t let small arguments overshadow a once-in-a-lifetime event like prom or a milestone birthday. 

5. Include, Don’t Exclude

A lot of drama starts when someone feels left out. Before making final plans, double-check if everyone knows what’s happening. Even if someone isn’t your closest friend, including them can go a long way toward avoiding drama.

Even if you know they cannot make the specific date or they don’t particularly like whatever activity is being planned, you still want to make sure that they know of the plans and that they are always invited, you want them there! 

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Set Boundaries

If a friendship is consistently stressful, it’s okay to step back. You don’t have to cut ties completely, but you can limit how much energy you put into the relationship. Protecting your peace matters.

Being honest is better than being miserable. Trust me on this. Boundaries can be hard, but learning how to set them can make a world of change. 

7. Focus on the Fun

At the end of the day, these events are about making memories. When you walk into that dance, that birthday dinner, or that weekend getaway, let go of the stress. Take photos, dance, laugh, and enjoy yourself—because those moments are what you’ll remember years from now, not the little arguments.

✨ Final Thought ✨ Friendships during the teen years can feel intense, and drama is almost unavoidable sometimes. But with the right mindset, clear communication, and a focus on what really matters, you can walk into your big event drama-free and ready to have fun.

Here are a few books that can help you navigate those friendship and hopefully avoid those drama moments of your life. 

• A Smart Girl’s Guide to Friendship Troubles: Approachable, easy to digest, and right on point—this guide helps teens handle fights, feeling left out, and that whole popularity game. Great for quick, relatable advice. 

• Frenemies: Dealing with Friend Drama (Essential Health: Strong, Beautiful Girls): Blends real-life fictional stories with expert insights from a licensed psychologist. Covers everything from gossip and jealousy to navigating friendships with parents and even early romantic feelings—which often spark the drama.

• The Teen Girl's Survival Guide: Ten Tips for Making Friends, Avoiding Drama, and Coping with Social Stress: A super practical guide written by psychologist Lucie Hemmen, packed with tips on how to make friends, avoid drama, and handle social stress. It features advice from older teens too, making it feel relevant and authentic.

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